Many years ago, I had a long conversation with a young woman who was struggling mightily whether or not to have an abortion. I sat with her and we talked through the pros and cons and likely consequences of each choice. You see, she was engaged to a fella but was carrying the child of another, having gotten pregnant after a drunken and angry one night stand. She was quite torn. Every single one of her friends and family advised her to abort the baby. Why the struggle you ask. Something inside her told her it was not right to abort – it was immoral. She was in a tough spot.
After working through all the possibilities together, she concluded that the only decision that would leave her with a clear conscience was to keep the baby and tell her fiancee that the child was not his. She knew that he would end the relationship and she would be a single mom working a minimum wage job and she might be setting herself and her child up for a life of struggles.
So, I asked if the biggest hindrance to making the decision to keep the baby was finances and she said yes. Then I asked, “what if I gave you a promise that I would make sure that the child would have medical care, a crib, and clothing at no cost to you… would you keep the baby?” She said yes… and I gave her my word… and kept it.
She told her fiancee and he cancelled the wedding plans in anger. I contacted a friend of mine who was a GP doctor and worked out her prenatal care costs. I gave her a crib and lots of baby clothes. She was scared but sure she made the right decision.
Then, less than a month before she delivered, her fiancee came to her and told her he forgave her and said that he would still marry her and raise the child as his own.
My point is this: it is not enough to point our fingers at women who feel that they are in tough spots with their pregnancy. Many have broken hearts and shattered dreams. What we should do is find ways to help and heal – in real and practical ways. Don’t let them stand there alone with their bleeding hearts. Love them and serve them – without judgment. Get off our high horses and take their trembling hands in yours and ask what you can do to help… especially if you know Christ’s love.
PS. The last time I was in touch with this girl, she was married to the original fiancee and had two kids with him and was in a happy marriage. This doesn’t mean things will always turn out rosie when we help, but we can at least offer our hands and our means to stop the bleeding.
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For His Glory,