Family Focus: Family Blog Post # 14 Spousal Love
He that loves not his wife and children feeds a lioness at home and broods a nest of sorrows. JEREMY TAYLOR, Twenty-Seven Sermons
Over the years, I have taught my students that most women, if they had to choose between being loved and being respected, would choose to be loved. On the other hand, if you ask that question of men, they will overwhelmingly say that they want to be respected. Sometimes, in relationships, this gets lost. Women lose the respect of their husbands, even though they still love them. It also happens that men lose the love for their wives, even though they still respect for them. If you have been in, or watched this in action, you know exactly what I am talking about. We can readily see this from the outside. At get-togethers with couples, it may not be apparent which couples truly love and respect each other, but it is pretty clear which ones do not. You can fool people into thinking that you have a good relationship, this is undeniable… but not over time.
Respect must be earned, and it is done so through long periods of demonstrating good character on the inside and living it out on the outside. Respect comes when we live a life on integrity and exemplify qualities that other want to emulate. Women respect their men when they do this.
Love, on the other hand, is not earned. Love is given freely when we see not only praiseworthy qualities, but we are drawn, not logically nor willfully, into the embrace of another and then hunger for oneness…both in heart and body. Love draws the soul… more deeply than the mind.
In my professional life, I see day after day couples who are no longer in love…and the number one reason given is no more communication. If you want to keep love alive, talk, talk, and talk… share your thoughts, feelings, hopes, fears, dreams with the other person without reservation.
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