Family Focus #8 Masculine Mask

quill-and-inkwell-imageFamily Focus: Family Blog Post #10 Masculine Mask

Gentlemen, contrary to popular belief, admitting that you are wrong is not fatal.” Jim Shaul

I know that I am just one fella who has lived but a blip of time in this universe, so I do not “know” anything outside my experience, yet I do know what I have experienced. One thing I have experienced is a very constant behavior in men wherein they have a strong tendency to refuse to acknowledge when they are wrong, and even when they do, they do not apologize for their error. A joke I often hear is that men rarely have to apologize because it is rare that they are wrong. My guess is that women would disagree.

I my world, there is a strong tendency for men to not acknowledge that they are wrong. My gut tells me that the reason is that being wrong would be a sign of weakness… of lack of control. In my worldview, a man’s ego is based on his ability to control his kingdom. Masculinity is defined by the ability to well-manage your world. None of us can completely control our personal world. We are not omnipotent (all powerful)  and therefore do not have the power to control all things. We men admit that (albeit grudgingly because masculinity, defined by control, must also include the strength to control) we are not all-powerful, but when things happen that we do not want to happen, we have a tendency to blame others for the problem, therefore we salvage the notion that we are in control. This is not very complicated, really.

Sometimes… oftentimes, actually, we have a more difficult time admitting that we are not omniscient (all knowing), and I personally believe that this is also rooted in our desire to control our personal worlds. A king cannot rule his kingdom when he is ignorant of what is going on in his kingdom; but here is the thing, fellas… we are not omniscient. We do not know everything… and not knowing everything, by definition, puts us in a place where we may be wrong. Being wrong does not mean we are weak; it means we are not omniscient and have no, little, or incorrect information about something. Being wrong is not a moral flaw. Being wrong is not a control flaw. It is just a function of not being omniscient. It is what it is.

Here is the point: gentleman, our women are not fooled by us. They know that we are wrong… and are wrong on many occasions. It is not a sign of weakness to admit that we are wrong. On the contrary, it is a sign of strength. Strong men are not afraid to admit that they are wrong to their women. Plus… and this is so important to grasp – women do not see us as weak when we admit when we are wrong. They see us as humans… real and honest humans. They know we hide behind a mask of strength and knowledge. They are not fooled in the least.

So, I encourage you, gentleman, to take off your masks. You are not fooling anyone. Show your true strength and masculinity by readily admitting when you are wrong. Your women will respect you for that… and you will show them respect by not trying to pull one over on them.

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